life just flows when you are
If there was a way to make your next years the most
joyful, vital and
juicy time of your life, without wasting time in waiting, planning,
and crippling self-doubt . . .
Would you finally feel confident enough to return your overdue “Find Your
Purpose after 50” books and make living an inspired life your #1 priority right now?
Reason #1: You have already put in the time.
You've given at the office and you've given at home. Giving of yourself made sense when you were just starting out. But now the kids are launched. Now your career feels like an itch that can't be scratched. Now successful is no longer satisfying. Enough already.
Reason #2: You are too smart to sweep your desire under the rug.
The message from the world is, "be satisfied." You have enough. You have a good life.
The world doesn't know you. You know the difference between satisfied, settling, and scrumptious. (Add "vocabulary" to the things you're good at.)
Here's the thing: If you know WITHOUT A DOUBT -
That you have something deep within you that needs to be expressed before you die,
That your lovely, smart, introverted brain is wired to keep you in waiting mode FOREVER,
Then keep reading, because this story could be about you, and you get to choose your ending.
You are so ready to step out, to let go of responsibility, to breathe, relax, release, explore.
You are so ready to become your fullness as a woman, a woman wise and fully alive.
You have ideas: For years you've wanted to start a business or non-profit, go for that big promotion, or kill the commute and live life on your own terms.
You are so ready - and yet you stop.
You second guess. You wonder:
What I want is so elusive - how do I define it?
I can’t go off on a wild goose chase. How do I pin what I want down?
How do I get from here (wherever that is) to there (wherever that might be)?
How do I get from knowing what I want, to knowing how to get it?
How do I get from wanting, to knowing WHO I want to be?
Wanting, to knowing WHO I really am?
Wanting and wanting, longing and waiting for lightning to strike.
You hear your mother's voice in your head: "Be careful! Don't count your chickens before they're hatched." Your father's voice: "Life is for working."
Careful, careful, careful, quiet, careful. You have a good life. Why can't you just settle?
You can't settle. Your spirit won't let you settle.
I wish I could be free of this endless questioning.
I wish there was a place to just BE.
I wish I could show up exactly as I am, right now.
("Will you take me as I aaam?" I love you, Joni!)
Take me and let me play.
Let me discover.
Let me release these damn questions.
Let me experience wholeness. Connectedness. Being-aliveness.
"Where can I get that, Ms. Joni?" you ask. "What do I need to do to feel free?"
It is so completely fine that you don't have it "all figured out."
It is totally normal to still be toting your parents around in your head. They are your oldest model, after all.
In fact, not having it figured out is perfect. You don’t need to waste one more precious minute spinning scenarios or keeping that old judgmental voice satisfied.
Because here's the thing: It's not like you've been waiting under a bush waiting for nirvanna (no, not that Nivanna). You've been busy. You've been raising children, growing your career, taking care of your relationships, and hopefully taking care of yourself. You've been figuring life out all along.
You know yourself well. You are wise. Underneath the worry and the "shoulds," you already know what you want.
And at this point in your life, you feel like you’ve earned the right to honor your natural rhythms - sleeping in late, taking the dog for long walks in the middle of the day, and staring into space without feeling that you need to snap out of it.
“I'll take care of it,” shouldn’t be required when every fiber of your being is screaming for alone time.
“When I retire” shouldn’t be the answer to the inspired vision that tugs on your heart.
“I’m too tired,” shouldn’t be the response to invitations to lighten up and play.
Worry about what comes next for you should be replaced with ease and play, celebrating the small life shifts that add up to big intimacy, connection, and joy.
It may seem like by mid-life, everyone is sorted out. Open your Facebook stream and it’s all right there: the old college friends with happy shiny faces, taking trips to Japan, the “big reveal” of their kids’ acceptance to Stanford.
It feels like your time has passed. It’s too late. Your kid is going to community college and you’re going to live out your golden years in a trailer in his back yard. If you’re lucky.
It is totally normal for what I call "the worms of despair" to be running your worries, because the social-media scarcity-fueled world we live in conspires to make you feel envious and fearful. With envy and fear worming their way into your heart and brain, of course inspiration can not get in.
The reality is, you don’t really care that the old roomie took her family to Japan, you just want your family to be happy. And you’re pretty sure that you won’t end up living in a trailer.
The fact is, you are lucky. You have already lived an exceptional life. Now, at mid-life, you are in the perfect position to cash in on the accomplishment, knowledge, experience, and wisdom that you have spent decades accumulating in your experience bank and finally live the inspired life you have been waiting for.
What you Need:
You need to remove your fear of losing it all so that you are free to use it all.
You are the glue. This is one of your introvert superpowers - seeing the big picture and knowing exactly what is needed to fill the gaps.
The truth is, and this may sound harsh: you have trained your peeps to need you.
Saying yes, when you really want to say no, is a way of ensuring that you’re indispensable. And why not, when you’re just marking time?
But here’s the thing: your gut knows when you’re settling. Every demand you say "yes" to adds to your pile of resentment. And your peeps feel it.
What you need:
You need a vision of your life that is so compelling, so vibrant and juicy that you can’t let it go. You need to fall in love with your life again. When you experience that aliveness, you will become clear on what you are no longer available for. Your peeps will rise to the challenge. Heck, getting out of their way may give them a chance to grow too!
It doesn’t seem fair for you to have so much, when others have less. You should be working hard to make a difference, not goofing off (i.e. creating) and having fun (i.e. doing what pleases you). This is the message we get as kids - to work hard, follow the rules, and be rewarded. Following this message may lead to success, but not to life satisfaction.
Unfortunately, most Life Planning books feel like work. The truth is, completing Values Clarification worksheets simply isn’t inspiring, and the idea of spending Sunday afternoon over an Excel template, crunching five-year targets for your escape plan doesn’t make you feel all goose-bumpy inside.
The truth is - and this is a big one - you can have both work and play. In fact, living an inspired life demands it.
Falling in love with your life does require commitment. You have to show up for it, as you would any relationship.
The commitment is to play. When your life aligns to support your full self-expression, magic happens, because when you give yourself permission to be as relaxed and playful as a child again, work becomes play.
What you Need:
You need a way to bypass all that figuring and directly experience yourself, right now, 100% alive, juicy, and free. Then you are pulled towards the unique difference only you can make, and life becomes full of ease. That’s your measure of an inspired life. No one ever fell in love with a worksheet.
As an introvert your brain is wired to look before you leap. You can run scenarios FOREVER, and you enjoy it! You decide to take another class or wait for your husband to retire.
It makes perfect sense to want to stay put when the alternative is murky, overwhelming, and unclear.
The truth is (and I say this with love) not committing to your life without limits, when your soul yearns for it, is a form of self-abuse. You already know this. You know that you can’t stand one more day of incrementalism. When you allow yourself to take that in, you will feel your energy shifting to a new future.
What you Need:
You need to get clear. Specifically, you need to get clear on what you really want. With that clarity, you begin to get your ducks moving in the direction you want to go.
Where did we get the idea that we have to figure it all by ourselves? The pull-yourself-up by the bootstraps message is all around us, and it's getting worse. Heck, sit in any restaurant and you'll see 9 people out of 10 staring down at their phones, trying to find connection through an app.
The thing is, for most of us, staying in our heads is claustrophobic. The same thoughts keep going around and around. It's almost impossible to shine a mirror on our own stuff. And it's lonely to be in there alone.
The truth is, you grow when you reveal ourselves to another real live person and see recognition in her eyes.
What you Need:
You need a beautiful container of support that will hold you as you become the woman that you long to be. You need someone who can compassionately shine the light on the places where you stop yourself and accountability to move forward. And you need peers who are on the same path, who see you, celebrate you and challenge you to be you, at your best.
Discover your Best Self through the Energy of Play
If you’ve made it this far, you already know that if you want to live an inspired life you absolutely must commit to aligning your life with what your heart truly desires for you.
The question you may be asking is, "How?"
The FREE to PLAY™ framework that I’m about to share with you shows you the simple method for creating your inspired live - and for keeping it going OVER THE LONG TERM.
You already know that books and frameworks can only take you so far, because it's up to you to actually DO THE THING they recommend. They still leave you on your own. As you can guess by now, I'm a big believer in not going it alone.
That's why I created FREE to PLAY™ Live! It's designed FTP Live! specifically for high-achieving women who are committed to BEING their dream out loud, in community, right now.
Imagine what can become possible for you when you shift into "I am Ready to Play!" mode. Things like:
Experiencing your life possibilities blossom when you discover that the purpose of life lies not in what you are doing, but in who you are being every day.
These dreams came true for my clients, and they can for you too.
I work with smart, successful women who are ready to discover the joy of living Free Once Again, in tune with the natural rhythms of play.
I'm also a seriously successful introvert who left my full-time career to finally do work that felt 100% ME. My journey led through experiments in leading whole-hearted organizations (getting out of my practical head) and freeing my self-expression by releasing old family trauma. (I thought was was DONE with that in my 30's!)
Now I coach and lead retreats with women, mostly introverts, who are ready to Play their New Game of Life - to let their juicy, vulnerable, delighted heart lead them into long-deferred ventures, or simply into playing by their own rules. Starting NOW! Because life is #too.short.to.wait.one.more.day
I live with my wife, my dog Dexter, and 3 garden cats in Oakland, California, where I spend as much time as possible staring at the horizon.
PS: I have LP, CD, and Spotify versions of Joni Mitchell's"California."
Creator, FREE to PLAY™
Janet has been by my side step by step, an attentive and encouraging sounding board for my ideas and a wise resource for growth and change. I began with a pretty good understanding of what I'm good at and what I care about, but working with Janet helped me tap into an essential third dimension: What energizes and engages me? What's my 'mojo'?
I'm now living with intention and zest, drawing not only on Janet's self-discovery exercises but also on her tips for 'staying on the path.'
Now accepting applications for 2019.
Living your natural self means giving yourself Permission to 1) envision the life that pleases you and 2) make it so!
How You Get There:
We start by showing up exactly as we are. Then we use carefully crafted expressive experiences (AKA Play) that get you into your body and invite your naturally free spirit to emerge. You allow your Feelings to flow, and Release the fear, doubt, and worries that naturally come up when you reach for what feels good and risky.
Next, you Envision the life that aligns with your spirit. Then we invite your head to join with your heart as you take SPECIFIC steps to Embody your New Game of Life. And celebrate falling in love with your life again!
Free to Play! Live! gives you everything you need to step into the life you love NOW:
I designed Free to Play Live! especially for accomplished, quietly creative women. The program includes three retreats plus ongoing coaching over a full 90 days to guide your transformation.
Two Virtual Retreats.
We begin and end with virtual retreats. Retreat #1 prepares you for the live experience. Retreat #2 supports you as you move into action.
Three-day Live Retreat
held in Oakland, California. Think of this as recess time for your soul. Discover the freedom that comes when you let your free expression lead your life.
Your New Game of Life Playbook
Take home a beautiful created-by-you playbook that you will return to again and again as you live into your new game of life.
Take me as I am.
Take me and let me play.
Let me Discover.
Let me release the old, tired, stuff that holds me back.
Let me experience Freedom.
And then. . .
From that place - that place of Wholeness, Aliveness, Me-ness,
let me create my New Game of Life.
This is Free to Play Live!
This is the Energy of Play.
The women who are selected to participate in Free to Play Live! demonstrate a commitment to their personal transformation and growth. If you want more from life than just getting by, if you want to feel fully, vibrantly, juicily alive, request an invite for full program details and to schedule a Discovery Call.
One conversation can change your life.
Free to Play! is for You If You are Ready To:
Free to Play! is NOT FOR You If you:
Janet's caring curiosity helped me explore my goals around my career and my family. With her support my communications have become more purposeful and positive. I've learned that self care is not in conflict with caring for others.
I've been able to open my heart and my mind to possibilities.
Now accepting applications for 2019.
I have known Janet Kodish for more than 15 years and I strongly believe that she is the most natural, top notch coach that anyone could ask for. I wish I could have had her help me earlier in life, but I'm so glad to have connected with her for this now. She is knowledgeable, professional, insightful, inspiring and fun to boot. Her questions will make you think, and her advice will help you act. I so appreciate how she got me get started on the path that I wanted to go, and I want to continue working with her as much as possible.
“Don't ask yourself what the world needs.
Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that,
because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
~ Howard Thurman